Not for Laughs

 They loved your jokes,

Said you lit up the room.

Said you made everything better,

Like sunshine chasing gloom.

But they never noticed

How tired your smile had become.

They never asked

What it took to be the “fun one.”

You cracked jokes in chaos.

You laughed through pain.

You made others feel lighter—

While carrying your own rain.

You weren’t always happy.

You were just… distracting.

Distraction was safety.

Silence was cracking.

You learned to perform

Before you learned to feel.

You became a comfort

Before you knew how to heal.

They mistook your humor for joy.

You mistook their laughter for love.

But being the funny one

Was never enough.

That’s not joy.

That’s survival.